...........I used to..........

IUsed To….
I used to have dreams …
Many Different happy dreams…
Where the doors were opened….
And the lights were on..
The joy was there..
And the pains were gone..
The sky was dark blue..
And so shiny was the sun..
Birds.. butterflies.. roses were there..
I was all the time having fun..
I used to have dreams …
But.. I used to have them disappeared..
I woke up .. look around.. every thing had gone..
The doors are locked.. the lights are off..
The shines went back .. the sky became dark..
The birds flew away.. and no place for fun..
It's really unfair..
To have all your life.. as a night mare…!!
But,… I Used To

موضوع: I like that الأحد أكتوبر 14, 2007 3:23 pm

dear:
that was a very good try . you seem to have your tools ready and thats fine . i like what you write in english very much .
but on the other hand i have some grammatical points that I want to discuss with you
1. the joy (was) not were
2.the sky became or becomes (not become)

but as a whole i like it especially:

And so shiny was the sun

تم التعديل و مشكور أبو فريد هي أخطاء مطبعية و سرعة كتابة لاني احفظها غيبا أشكرك